Old Lady Dents a Car. What Else is New?

NEW CASTLE, Pa. (AP) - Pennsylvania police say an 89-year-old woman used her cane to dent the car of two people who stole her friend's purse, and authorities were able to track down the getaway car based in part on the cane's imprint. New Castle police Chief Thomas Sansone says the woman and her 82-year-old friend were accosted outside a pizza shop Sunday. Police say 27-year-old Jerry Brown Jr. grabbed the purse but couldn't peel away before the 89-year-old banged the car's trunk with her cane. Police found the car, and, based on the description of the robber - and dents matching the cane - arrested Brown and 21-year-old Tatiana Vargas.

I'm gonna say something that right now that totally goes against the moral of this story. I'm actually gonna ignore the entire story. I really don't like old people. I might even say old people piss me off.  I understand their old age might make them a bit prickly and pissy and that's OK because that's the cycle of life. But there's no reason for them to be walking around like their shit don't stink when in fact, their shit literally stinks as it leaks out their assholes and into their depend diapers. Yeah most old people are sweet little beings but I'd say 1 in 10 are a total piece of shit. Just mean, mean bastards. I mean the type to take the cane out and whack the shit out of your ankle or the type to give you a dirty look if you accidentally swipe shoulders with them in grocery store as if you were purposely trying to knock the old bitch over and crack her tailbone. Fuck you, hoe. If I wanted to break your hip, I'd roll this fucking Gatorade bottle down the aisle and kick your shit through your eyelids. I don't play games. I'm not trying to play grab ass with your brown stained wrinkles in Stop and Shop. I think the only peaceful way to respond to those hags is simple. "Hey, you're gonna die soon. Have a nice day...if you even last that long."