Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Wowzers.

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. -- Tiger Woods fired caddie Steve Williams on Wednesday, leaving his good friend stunned and ending a 12-year relationship in which he won 72 times worldwide and 13 majors. "I want to express my deepest gratitude to Stevie for all his help, but I think it's time for a change," Woods said on his website. "Stevie is an outstanding caddie and a friend and has been instrumental in many of my accomplishments. I wish him great success in the future." Woods did not say who would replace Williams or when he would return to golf. Williams could not immediately be reached Wednesday afternoon, although he posted a statement on his website confirming he had been fired. "Needless to say this came as a shock," Williams said. "Given the circumstances of the past 18 months working through Tiger's scandal, a new coach and with it a major swing change and Tiger battling through injuries, I am very disappointed to end our very successful partnership at this time.

Sooo this might be news to you but it's becoming clear to me that Tiger might not be the greatest guy on the planet. Who the fuck fires their best friend and caddy over the internet? There's got to be some major story that we don't know about, right? You fire dickheads with no brain on a Wednesday. You don't fire your caddy and friend of 18 years on a Wednesday. It just makes me scared that one day I'm gonna sit down and sign in to blog and the password is gonna be changed by my cat. I'll look over my shoulder and he'll be sitting there like, "things done changed around here rza" and that'll be the end of our relationship. It's a cold, cold world out there.


P.S. The Steve Williams book that comes out in 5 years is gonna be the greatest thing to hit print since "Reba: scenes behind closed doors and my secret love for Jordon Brault."


P.S.S. Did those motherfucking children from that other, other blog really say I hit the refresh button 50,000 times a day? I didn't want to get involved in this fight but now I think I have to get involved in this fight. I mean I hit the follow button on their blog to be a nice guy but not anymore. I'm comin for ya and I'm gonna keep comin for ya everyday until you're a miserable little prick. I'll make those gay kids who commit suicide look like a fucking picnic.

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