What better way to kick off 2010 blogging than writing the weekly Jersey Shore post? As everyone in the house is starting to realize what a fuck tard The Situation is, I'm starting to fall in love with him even more. He's just a man and trust me, it takes one to know one. Yeah, his roomie got coldcocked, what of it? He's not gonna let short tempers and flying fists ruin his motherfucking pussy parade. Sitch played it perfectly. Check on snooks and make sure everything is all good then you get back in the game and go get that (nuva?)ring. Most of all, superman seemed a little human after he got stood up for a lunch date. Granted, "9 times out of 10" he seals the deal but every dog has his day I suppose. Anyway, blah blah blah here we go with the countdown.
1. I'm absolutely loving the way that MTV is hyping every new episode. Did anyone else notice the preview for next week included Barb AKA "The Grenade" and another Snooks bitch fight outside on the deck? Pauly D better know the code to decipher that bomb this time. Hysterical.
2. Finally! DJ Pauly D on the 1's and 2's. I was honestly waiting on all season to see this. The wheels of steel, baby.
3. Notice Vinnie got some more air time. He's picking his spots and I like it. First he was seen making empty threats about ending the frat guys life then he popped up in the corner of Ronnie's family outing. Then finally, he hooked up with his boss/land lord's girlfriend. Too funny.
4. I just want Snooks to find love. Just as she was about to get a number, Ronnie fucking jumped the boat like King Kong and threw her in the water. Not even joking. Literally climbed the boat then jumped back into the water with her like it was Vietnam.
5. The Situation made a feast and shouldn't have to pick up his dirty dishes. In fact, If the Situation is even in your area you better stop breathing and save that God some air.
6. Tension growing between Ronnie and The Situation. And I don't think anything is more terrifying than Ronnie. He has this low to the ground, big mass type thing going on. He's very dense? I don't know.
7. Sammi sucks. If you're gonna keep your boyfriend from a jay-z hooker boat party then you better take your shirt off and make it worth it or else you're going over board like Snickers.
8. Quote of the season: "I'd send her my dick and a pack of bubble gum and tell her to chew on this." That Ronnie is a class act.
9. Don't call Snooki fat. Jwowwwwwwww will literally beat the shit out of you. Girl walked away with hershey stains.
10. I got nothing. I'm tired, hungover, hungry, pissed off, and just emotionally drained.
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