AC Milan Signs Gooch

AC Milan have quickly wrapped up a deal for United States centre back Oguchi Onyewu on Tuesday in a bid to quell supporter unrest over their transfer policy. The 27-year-old, who impressed in the U.S. side's run to the Confederations Cup final last month, has joined on a free transfer from Standard Liege and penned a three-year contract. The club announced the signing on their website and pointed out he holds a Belgian passport, which means Onyewu will not count as one of only two non-EU players Italian sides are allowed to sign each season.

Uhhmmm. I think it is officially safe to say that US Soccer is that new hot chick on campus. I mean no one really paid attention to the players on the team or in this case, the bitches in the choir group. But then they show up to a party and they really shock you. They're shutting out a world power like Spain and taking body shots off Erica's c-cup titties and talking about how they wanna lose their v-card to a sharp dressed man named clyde little. Next thing you know, guys like me and Milan are taking notes and etching that name down into our hit list. It's like, "hey bitch, have you read my blog? I can make you a celebrity over night." Or my man Gooch going to a premier club like Milan. You get the picture.