80,000 Greet Cristiano

Cristiano Ronaldo received a rapturous welcome from 80,000 Real Madrid fans Monday, an outpouring so exuberant the soccer star had to be hustled away when spectators leaped barriers and took the field. Ronaldo, who joined the famed club following his record transfer from Manchester United, appeared before the capacity crowd at Santiago Bernabeu wearing the same No. 9 jersey worn by Real Madrid great Alfredo di Stefano. “I’ve achieved one of my dreams,” a beaming Ronaldo said before leading fans in a cry of “Viva Madrid” “I want this to begin as quickly as possible so that I can show what I can do.” Real Madrid had been chasing the world player of the year since 2006. He agreed to a six-year contract in a record 80-million pound ($151-million Canadian) transfer.

Are you fucking kidding me? 80,000 people show up to greet this bastard? I don't care how good this guy is, there is no way I could convince that many of my friends to go and watch him stand on a stage and talk for 10 minutes. And yes, I happen to have 80,000 friends. Check my facebook bitches. You don't wanna know what happens when I send out a mass text. I guess if I was told there would be a free show that involved 15 gypsys, an apple, boobie tassles and a mandatory blind fold on all participants then I might, just maybe, stop by for a drink and good laughter. Or a mass assassination of Julio Lugo look-a-likes. Then you can count me in as a plus 1. I don't know. I just know this is clearly why America is better than those pussy european countries like Spain. Make no mistake about it, Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Nomar and Ken Griffey Jr. Could be playing tummy sticks with an orangautang and not even 30,000 well dressed men would show up to that minstrel show.