My mojo is at absolute zero and it's fucking perfect timing because page views are at an all-time high right now. I don't know why or how they're so high but facts are facts. People come to see an epic show and I feel like a clown, riding around on a tricycle. Would it help if Scotty blogged again? Uhh yeah. Too bad he's demanding a 6 figure salary to return and has been too busy getting into relationships lately. Listen, I wanna blog and make bitches giggle but I can't seem to do it lately. It's like my head is strong but my heart is weaker and I don't play those half-assed games. Always empty the tank as I like to say. So I just wanna apologize because it aint easy being awesome 24/7. I also want to apologize to Dom Bazolo for knocking his cookie off his trey during lunch sophmore year and then stepping on it and making it look like it was an accident. It was no accident. You were a dick and I'll still slap the shit out of you if I ever see you in public. But stepping on your cookie wasn't cool. Sorry. I should probably also say sorry to the old lady that I gave the finger to today and then told her to eat shit out of her decaying husband's Depends. She's probably gonna die of a stroke in 12 days and it's all my fault. Sorry. Also, I'm pretty sure I spent 10 minutes staring at the chick's tits across from me in Microeconomics this morning. Sorry. Aren't I just the worst?
P.S. If I ever say I'll call you back, there's a 96% chance that I'm lying and I don't want to talk to you at that moment or talk to you ever. Sorry in advance.
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