Bubba Watson Knows How to Fix Tiger Woods's Golf Swing

Bubba Watson, yes that Bubba Watson - winner of 5 PGA Tour events, is trying to tell Tiger Woods, yes that Tiger Woods - winner of 71 PGA Tour events, how to do his business. In an interview during the Wells Fargo Championship, Bubba Watson went off on a rant about Tiger Woods's golf game, without even being prompted.

"Yeah, I'll just go ahead and say it, I think Tiger is going the wrong way. I think he's so mental right now with his swing. Just go out there and play golf. He used to hit shots, used to bomb it, used to do all that stuff. In 2000 and '97, I think he did pretty good. He won the Masters by 48 shots, or whatever he won it by. But, I think, sometimes, he gets carried away on that. A lot of guys do.”

Really, Bubba? How about you win a major or at least do better than shooting a +6 (78) in the final round of The Masters this year when you were -5 heading into Sunday with a chance of winning. While you were busy finishing 38th at The Masters, Tiger Woods was busy being mental with his swing and finishing 5th.

Class Sucks

So I'm going to blog to tell you about it. For some reason I'm not sitting at my house, hammered on the couch watching the Masters highlights. For some reason I'm not sitting at my house, stoned on the couch playing XBOX. For some reason I'm sitting in a dumb ass class not doing anything. Class blows, blows, blows and blows.

The Red Sox are 0-6. Fuckin comin' on for fucks sake! I know it is six games in and I shouldn't be too worried but really? We get shut-out by the Indians with probably the most prolific offense in baseball?

At least Tiger isn't blowing the Masters like his bitches were blowing him. He's one under at the end of day one and will hopefully make a hell of a come back to win. And then he'll start fucking mad chicks again. Ya know, kinda like I do.

Back to class, maybe you'll get a post from me later.

BOOOOOOOOM

Europe Wins Ryder Cup

The god damn Nazis.

The Ryder Cup is one of the most underrated sporting events and came to a conclusion Monday when Graeme McDowell sunk a 15-foot putt to seal the win for the Nazis, fuck I mean Europeans.


The US started off with everything going wrong. Bad pairings and poor conditions were only the start when we found out later that the raincoats were so poorly made that USGA officials had to go buy new coats from the vending stand. After a poor second day, the US had a lot of ground to cover Monday. And boy did they ever. For one 7 hole stretch, Tiger played 7 under par, showing signs of the Tiger before he stopped fucking mad chicks. Steve Stricker and Lefty both won their matches and Jeff Overton broke late to beat Ross Fisher.

Unfortunately, the US came up just short. McDowell's putt on the 17th clinched the victory for the Europeans, keeping the streak alive of the US not winning the cup on foreign soil since 1993.

Tiger and Elin Officially Divorced

Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren have officially divorced today. Shocking I know. I don't really understand why Elin got so mad. In my eyes, Tiger really didn't do anything THAT wrong. Clearly Elin wouldn't let Tiger give her a golden shower so he had to go get his fix from some slutty porn stars. I think it's awesome. Rumors circulated that Elin was getting anywhere from 100 mil to 750 million dollars from Tiger which is a fucking absurd amount of money.

Here's a statement released on Tiger's website:
"We are sad that our marriage is over and we wish each other the very best for the future. While we are no longer married, we are the parents of two wonderful children and their happiness has been, and will always be, of paramount importance to both of us. Once we came to the decision that our marriage was at an end, the primary focus of our amicable discussions has been to ensure their future well-being. The weeks and months ahead will not be easy for them as we adjust to a new family situation, which is why our privacy must be a principal concern.”

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Louis Oosthuizen Wins the British Open

Things we saw/learned this weekend at the British Open:

Louis Oosthuizen wins (and his nickname is Shrek). John Daly is a bad-ass American. Tiger Woods drops some F-bombs. Miguel Angel Jimenez hits the shot of the year. Rick Reilly looks like a dingleberry and acts like a Rick. And finally - when you gotta go, you gotta go.

Shrek (Louis Oosthuizen) won the 2010 British Open by 7 shots. The South African turned a potentially close final 9 holes into a bore-tore by draining a wild 50-foot eagle putt on the 9th hole. I still don't know how to pronounce his name by I have to give King Louie props for such a dominating performance this weekend.

John Daly's pants/outfits have been well-documented (here and here) the past few days and he did not disappoint on Saturday and Sunday. Saturday he showed up wearing these...

Richard Heathcote - Getty Images

If those aren't enough, his girlfriend showed up in this matching skirt...

Peter Muhly - Getty Images

Today, during the final round of the BRITISH Open, he decided to show how American he really is (as if the chain smoking and gambling wasn't enough). Where the hell can I get a pair of these.

Just for good measure his girlfriend decided to match the big guy again today...


Tiger was back to his old ways, dropping F-bombs after missing a putt, and I loved it. This is the Tiger I want to see - livid whenever he misses a short putt or makes a bad shot. I don't want to see him trying to act like something he's not. This video is from the 3rd round (Saturday) on the 13th hole. He misses a short putt and drops a few F-bombs as he walks off the green.

Yesterday, on the 17th hole, Miguel Angel Jimenez hit the shot of the year. His 3rd shot landed so close to the wall that he couldn't get his club behind it to take a regular swing. He decided to bank it off the wall and miraculously it landed on the green. Who cares that he eventually double-bogeyed the hole. Ridiculous shot.

How is Rick Reilly famous? He is a no-talent-ass-clown and for some reason ESPN had him doing 1-2 minute clips during the British Open. He showed up in a white suit - like that kid trying to be cool at the Prom.

Marcel Siem had to take a Ken Whisenhunt (sound it out if you don't get it, Ricky) on Friday during the wind delay. Thank you cameraman for following him and providing us with this video of Siem making water at the Old Course.

Windy British Open 2nd Round

Windy with a Chance of Meatballs. Gone with the Wind. Wind-ows 7. Alright that's enough - you get the point. After players treated St. Andrews like it was a Par 3 course yesterday Mother Nature decided to take over today. The players that teed off in the morning had to deal with rain but the players in the afternoon had to deal with wind so powerful it nearly blew John Daly over. Bazinga! Speaking of John Daly, he wore another ridiculous awesome outfit on Friday. So did he just buy the entire fabric department of Wal-Mart or what?


Play was stopped in the afternoon because the winds were ridiculous - players hats were flying off, stopped balls would roll around the green and John Daly's cigarettes wouldn't light. Louis Oosterhausen (nicknamed "Shrek" by his friends) shot a 5-under 67 and sits at 12-under, leading 2nd place Mark Calcavecchia by 5 strokes. Tiger shot a 73 and is tied for 15th at 4-under while Phil Mickelson barely squeaked under the cut-line (+1) with even par for the round. For the full leaderboard click here. This sign was posted when play was suspended for a few hours.


Does "LOL" mean something else Scotland or does the "sign-man" have a sick sense of humor?

Rory McIlroy is Getting Laid at the British Open Tonight

McIlroy shot a record -9 under 63 today at the British Open at St. Andrews. His 63 tied the record for lowest round at a major and he became the first person to do it since Tiger in 2007. My money is on the 21-year-old from Northern Ireland taking home a cougar tonight. He shouldn't have much competition in the cock-blocking department because John Daly will probably hire hookers for the night and Tiger likely has more STDs than the hookers. Not to take anything away from Rory but the course was playing extremely easy today. John Daly tied his best score at the British Open with a 66 and Tiger rebounded from his 46th place finish 2 weeks ago at the AT&T National to shoot a 67.

John Daly followed up his great wardrobe choice from yesterday with this awesome getup. Where the hell do you buy pants like that? They honestly look like he went to the fabric department at Wal-Mart and had one of the Asians sew it into a size 50 pant pattern. I wish I had the balls to wear something like that out in public.

AP Photo/Jon Super

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John Daly is Still the Man

The British Open, played at St. Andrews - one of the most famous and classiest golf courses in the world - is this weekend and golfers have been talking to reporters all week. Tiger has been getting grilled on his personal life but the top story goes to John Daly. Tons of high-profile past British Open champions came together for a dinner. They all dressed in fancy suits and John Daly, surprising no one, decided to show up looking like a parrot.


Why is John Daly so awesome? ...Guess he was just born that way.

Suga Mama

Tiger's divorce with Elin Nordegren is nearly finalized and she is set to receive $100 million. It was first reported that she would receive $750 million but Tiger isn't even worth that much. I'm pretty sure she won't be complaining over $100 million though. The lady hit the jackpot...she went from being Jesper Parnevik's nanny to being worth $100 million. She basically pooped out two kids and got cheated on for $100 million. If there is a job application for that, sign me up! I'll definitely experience child-birth and let someone cheat on me for $100 million. Now I just need to meet her because it has been a goal of mine to find a hot suga mama so that I can be a stay-at-home dad.

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Geneva Convention of Basketball

Dwayne Wade came out today and said he has talked to Lebron and Joe Johnson about meeting up to discuss their pending free agency. Now first thing that came to my mind was "who the fuck invited Joe Johnson?", but then secondly I thought, damn that's awesome. After Dwayne came out to mention this, Chris Bosh, who I think can be a better addition than Lebron to many teams, said he would also join. This is a great idea because just the idea of 3 superstars like that signing to one team is enough to make me get a semi-chubby (only the thought of Carmelo can give me a full chubby). So my hope is that all these guys are gonna go meet somewhere, roll like 25 blunts of the best kush they can find, and blaze it all up, most likely playing NBA 2k10, and talk about where they're going next year. Please invite me Dwayne.

This also got me thinking of what other celebrity hang out seshs would be the best.


Baseball: I'd love a game of The Show with Jeter and Manny, especially cause I'd beat Jeter's ass with the Sox. You know Jeter's gonna bring some hotties and you know Manny's gonna bring some weed. Could it be any better?


Football: 2 came to my mind immediately and they both played in the NFC Championship game last year. Drew Brees cause he's bringing some fine New Orleans poontang and Allen cause he isn't scared to fuck someone up in the club when they say something bad about that fine New Orleans poontang (also, watch this because Jared Allen is a hard-ass).


Golf: Tiger and John Daly. It needs no explanation.

BREAKING NEWS - TIGER WOODS WILL RETURN TO GOLF AT THE MASTERS

Tiger Woods has just announced that he will return to golf at the Masters which begins April 8. This is huge news because no one knew when he would return but everyone speculated he would return for Bay Hill. Tiger will have to work out the kinks in his game before the Masters without playing in a tournament. He may have picked the Master for his first tournament back because of the very controlled media presence. Augusta will not let the media frenzy develop that other courses would. Tiger probably feels much more comfortable returning at Augusta than elsewhere. For more information visit - http://sports.espn.go.com/golf/news/story?id=4999991.

Tiger Woods PGA Tour Online

Yesterday I discovered my latest unhealthy obsession that I feel must be shared with the world. Besides trying to find true love on chatroulette by jerking off on random strangers who are oddly desensitized to it by now, this is all I have been doing in class (well.. and sleeping). Tiger Woods PGA Tour Online: it's basically an amazing port of his popular golf game to an online applet to play. You can start a career and upgrade your golfer and play on some of the world's most popular and toughest courses. When I first gave it a try, I was having worse luck than David Spade's career after Chris Farley died, but after a few holes I was hitting more green than a glaucoma patient. Best of all, it is in beta right so it is completely free. I signed up and was tee-ing off within seconds. With daily tournaments and the ability to create your own golf groups for you and your friends, you can meet up and play with your favorite foursome anywhere you have an internet connection.

All I have to say is that if this is the direction that EA is going with some of their games then the future looks bright for bored teenagers and college students who are sick of their sheep dying in Farmville. If this game is free as a direct result of Tiger's sex addiction, then I can only hope to Christ that we find out soon that John Madden is a meth-head. To be honest, we have all suspected it for awhile now, I mean who eats a 6-legged turkey?