Michael Jordan Bets with Fans at Celebrity Golf Tournament

Michael Jordan is the most competitive person on the planet. He's also addicted to gambling. Those two awesome characteristics met on Friday at the American Century Celebrity Golf Championship at Lake Tahoe. Some fans decided it was a good idea to bet the most freakish athlete ever that he couldn't hit the green on a par 3.

As for the shot, did MJ make it on the green...?

Boom! Just like Game 6 of the '98 Finals. The dude is at his best in the clutch. No word on how much they bet but the winnings probably went towards his son's strip club tabs.

LeBron Dunks on Camper

LeBron James must still be really upset about getting his ass handed to him by some tall white German guy. Now instead of sitting here writing all the epic LeBron 4th quarter jokes (LeBron should start playing hockey since there's only three periods!), we're going to discuss how he recovers form losing in the finals. Apparently by dunking on 10 year old kids at his basketball camp.

Seriously LeBron? Is your casual, fun game of Knockout that important? Apparently because instead of just gracefully losing to a kid and laughing about it, you decide to go all crazy and shit and dunk on the dude. Really Seth Meyers? You're already considered the biggest douche in professional sports right now, so you think this is a good idea to repair you image? Well it isn't. Learn how to lose without a) insulting all people not as filthy rich as you and b) not dunking on kids half your age and 1 millionth your physical capabilities.

Blake Griffin is American Jan Vesely

YES! I knew the internet would come through and it did. I was waiting for video of this to be posted and now it has hit the intertubes. Earlier tonight the Washington Wizards drafted Jan Vesely and after he made-out with his 6'3.5" basketball playing girlfriend, Eva Kodouskova, he shit on Blake Griffin. Mark Jones interviewed Vesely and said, "Tell us exactly about this European Blake Griffin that they call you". Jan Vesely's response was legen—wait for it...

dary. Legendary! "Blake Griffin is American Jan Vesely". He just says that without fucking hesitation then probably went back stage to procreate some avatar babies.

Wizards Draft Pick Jan Vesely Makes Out with Girlfriend

The Washington Wizards just drafted Jan Vesely, out of the Czech Republic, 6th overall in the NBA Draft. Right after being picked he turned to his money girlfriend and made out with her. I was not a fan of the Vesely pick until this happened. The man is just killing it. He's now going to the city where Alex Ovechkin plays. The two of them are gonna tear the bar scene up.

Jan, you dog you! Look at her just taking control of this situation, leaning right in, grabbing his head, reminding him who runs shit even right after he became a lottery pick in the NBA Draft. Now we have to find out who this money baby is. Vesely is 6'11" so this chick has to be a monster. I imagine banging her is like taming something.

He was being interviewed after the selection and the guy said to him that some people call him the European Blake Griffin. Jan responded "Blake Griffin is the American Jan Vesely". Boom. #GetShitOn Blake! A video of it will likely surface soon and I'll post it so we can all re-live the awesomeness.

UPDATE: Thanks to a backstage interview we have found out that Jan Vesely's girlfriend's name is Eva Kodouskova. She is 6'3.5" and also plays basketball.

Ricky Rubio Arrived In Minneapolis

Two summers ago, on June 25, 2009, the Minnesota Timberwolves drafted Ricky Rubio 5th overall in the NBA Draft. There were rumors Rubio didn't want to play in Minnesota and in order to leave his Spanish team and come to the NBA the Timberwolves had to pay a ridiculously high buyout fee which they didn't do. Rubio returned to Spain for two more seasons but today he arrived in Minnesota.

This video is so ridiculous. What's up with the dude narrating his walk through the doors and describing everything he's wearing? This isn't the Kentucky Derby or the Oscars, bro. "What a moment for Minnesota!"?!? Are you kidding me? The kid was drafted by you and didn't want to play for you because a) your team went 111-217 from 2005-2008 and b) the only people that actually want to live in Minneapolis, Minnesota are Charlie Conway and Gordon Bombay. If a .338 winning % from 05-08 wasn't bad, the Timberwolves went 32-132 the past 2 seasons. That's a .195 winning % for the calculator challenged. And what's with everyone giggling like school girls at every word he says? How about you stop sucking his dick until he actually plays a game in the NBA.

But you're right, "what a moment for Minnesota!!!". The 20-year-old who averaged 4.8 points, a roughly .300 FG% and 4 assists in 22 minutes per game will help save your team that just won 15 games.

Where was Scoops Callahan when we needed him most?

Also, I'm just gonna come out and say it - Ricky Rubio bats for the other team. I mean just look at this picture and tell me I'm wrong. He's got a money baby sitting next to him and he looks like he'd rather be with some guy named Majulio, wearing leather helmets clubbing each other to Yanni's greatest hits. And then there's that leg cross that would make Elton John proud. Just in case this photo doesn't seal it for you here's another from a magazine shoot that I'm guessing is for "Zero".

Where'd You Go LeBron?

Oh LeBron, where on Earth did you go?

I want to like you, I want to love you, but you’re making it oh so hard for me.

Yes, the Dallas Mavericks won the NBA Championship and should certainly be given the credit for that. But you’re fooling yourself if you believe that’s the biggest story in these finals. The fall of the Miami Heat, and more importantly the epic collapse of the self-appointed Chosen One will be what are forever remembered.

So I’ll fuel the fire because to be honest, I don’t want to talk about the Mavs. They’re a fantastic team led by the best European to ever play in the NBA and deserve the title. While it’s easy to root against the Heat, it seems pretty damn hard to root against the Mavs. They all seem like nice guys, the kind of guys you want to date your sister (excluding Stevenson, although he quickly became my favorite I’m A Thug For No Reason And Plan On Showing It player).

So let’s talk LeBron. A player who even the haters have to admit has more raw potential than any player in the league right now. A player who has been scrutinized or praised more than any ever to play in the Association. A player who if he wanted it, could be the best ever.

But there in lies the problem, maybe LeBron doesn’t want it.

It’s an idea that fans can’t understand. Why would anybody with that much ability not constantly push themselves to be the best ever? We can’t figure it out because if we had that ability, we would do everything to be the best. As fans, we want to see players live up to their potential because we want to be able to say we saw the best player of all time. It’s why we want Tiger to win so badly or Pujols to continue to hit such unreal numbers. We’re selfish and we can’t ever understand that athletes may not want it like fans do.

Maybe LeBron is perfectly fine with his life. He enjoys his million dollar paychecks, his lush Miami house and cars and doesn’t have the desire to be one of the best ever. We figured out he isn’t Jordan, but now we might be figuring out he isn’t Kobe, Bird, Magic or Duncan either. Oh, add Dirk to that list too.



I do believe LeBron will win a title, but when he does will he show any serious emotion? He didn’t last night after a loss; instead he just insulted everyone less wealthy as him. A good friend of mine always complains when he sees LeBron get hype with the crowd or act tough with an opponent because he thinks it’s an act. He feels LeBron thinks: “oh man MJ would act tough here so I should too.” He wants to be liked so he puts on an act that he wants this title so bad, when in reality he may not.

He showed in Cleveland how easily he could stop caring about a team. It was readily apparent to anyone watching that he was not involved in that game against Boston and was ready to leave the city. But I think the difference in this series was he was legitimately frightened by the stage. He was caught up in a never-ending game of Hot Potato and couldn’t get the ball out of his hands quick enough. So what exactly happened?

Well I’m not ruling out that Rashard Lewis was banging his girlfriend, but I’m more leaning towards the chewing out he received from DWade in Game 3. LeBron has never been coached in his life. He did anything he wanted in high school and then basically ran the team in Cleveland. Spoelstra hasn’t shown the dominance needed so James continued to do as he pleased. Then suddenly the Finals came and James figured out how different it really was. Wade had been there before and knew how flip the switch to play Finals ball. Unfortunately, James didn’t so Wade simply ripped him apart on national television for a solid eight seconds. I think this really shook James because now he was playing for himself and the fear of letting Wade down. Now everything he did was in fear that Wade might get mad at him, so instead of trying to play and help out Wade, he completely subdued himself and became the ultimate passive player. He did nothing to prove himself as the best, while Wade continued to show he would do anything to win.

LeBron ended the speculation of him and MJ, an argument I was trying to fuel for his career. But I think it’s important what everybody said at the beginning of the season: “The Heat need one season to get it together, and then they’ll be the best.” We all knew it in July, but then we fell into the trap in February when they’re we’re playing so well. We thought well maybe they can do this their first year, maybe they are this good.

They need help. They could use a physical player to protect Bosh as well as more consistent point. A healthy Haslem will help as well as a hopefully better Mike Miller. The team will improve, but unfortunately LeBron’s reputation will not.

Unfortunately for James he’s starting to inch closer to the list of Charles Barkley, Patrick Ewing, Dominque Williams, Karl Malone and Elgin Baylor and further away from the list of Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Bill Russell and Magic Johnson.

Lakers Coach Mike Brown Seems Awesome on Lopez Tonight

Mike Brown seems like a really cool dude. I want to hate the guy because he coached Lebron for 5 years in Cleveland and anyone associated with those teams is automatically a doucher but after watching him on Lopez Tonight tonight (redundant? yeah okay, I'm just trying to distract you from the fact that I was watching Lopez Tonight) I sort of want to like the man. But, he coaches the Lakers now so that can't happen. Most of this interview is just about the Lakers and how he got the job so if you don't care about that skip to about 7:09 for when Mike Brown starts pimping out his son.

I love that Mike Brown isn't afraid to say to his son/on national television what everyone is thinking - that Kim is a gold digging hooker or that his son is about to spit some creepy awesome game at the hot 15 year old sister. At least Kendall is already on birth control!

Pau Gasol Dumped by Fiancee, Blames Kobe Bryant

Pau Gasol played like absolute doo-doo butter during the playoffs and the Los Angeles Lakers ended up getting swept in the 2nd round. There might be more than meets the eye to his bad play though. Apparently Pau Gasol was recently dumped by his longtime girlfriend/fiance and Kobe Bryant and his wife, Vanessa, might be to blame. According to MediaTakeOut.com they have a "snitch" inside the Lakers organization who leaked the info:

The insider, who is affiliated with the Lakers, told MediaTakeOut.com that Pau's girlfriend SYLVIA and a teammates wife (who will remain nameless) became good friends. And two weeks ago Pau was ROCKED by news that his girlfriend/fiance DUMPED HIM.

The snitch told MediaTakeOut.com, "Pau thinks that [TEAMMATES] wife was behind it. Sylvia didn't have many friends and he's convinced that [wife] either is behind it, or could have talked Sylvia out of it." And word is that when Pau's TEAMMATE [the husband] tried to talk to Pau about it, the two got into an ARGUMENT - with each saying some very RECKLESS THINGS about each others LADIES.

So now Pau and THIS teammate are no longer speaking to each other. And their ON COURT chemistry is definitely off.

This is actually an interesting story and something to think about but the Lakers are a bunch of bitches so this story or the fact that they couldn't win after this happened shouldn't really surprise us. I'm going to blame Pau's finacee breaking up with him on Pau being the ugliest human being on the planet and not Kobe Bryant or his wife.

1920's Reporter, Scoops Callahan, Asks Phil Jackson His Last Question Ever

At the end of March I posted about how the producer of a Dallas talk radio station started going to press conferences and interviewing people using 1920's lingo and the name Scoops Callahan. The results were pure perfection but the videos left me wanting more. Well today we got just that. After the Los Angeles Lakers got flat out embarrassed and swept today in a 36-point loss to the Dallas Mavericks in the 2nd round of the NBA Playoffs, Phil Jackson gave his last post-game press conference ever. And Scoops Callahan was there to ask him the last question in his last post-game press conference ever in true Scoops Callahan fashion.

Nicki Minaj Gave Steve Nash a Lap Dance

You may recall that Steve Nash's wife got knocked up by one of his teammates and they recently got a divorce. Also, his team didn't make the playoffs. That means he is free to party his dick off and it looks like he is. Last week Nicki Minaj tweeted about how she was in Phoenix and then Steve Nash tweeted "I think I just got a lapdance from @nickiminaj ?". Derrick Williams (the ridiculous basketball player from University of Arizona who is expected to be drafted in the top 3) tweeted a picture of him and Steve Nash at the concert and then someone posted this video of the lap dance.

How uncomfortable does Steve Nash look? He's got a ridiculously hot/famous/rich girl in her 20s with an ass bigger than Kim Kardashian's giving him a lap dance and he looks like he's one of those girls who goes to a male strip club the night before her wedding and gets forced to do shit by her friends.

Carmelo Anthony Isn't Worried the Knicks Are Down 2-0

Carmelo Anthony scored 42 and had 17 rebounds but the Knicks lost to the Celtics in game 2 of the NBA playoffs. After game 1 he gave a quote saying how the Celtics didn't play great so he wasn't scared. Then after he lost game 2 in his press conference he said:

"The Celtics didn't do anything special. They won two games on their home court. Now it's our turn to go to our home court and try to do the same thing."

Are you kidding me Carmelo? Yea, the Celtics haven't played very good in either game but they won both. Shouldn't that scare you more than if the Celtics played their absolute best but beat you? Yes, yes it should. They played almost as bad as they could the past 2 games and are still up 2-0 on you. Your team also hasn't won a playoff game in 3,640 days so there's that.

There were so many quotes in this press conference that prove just how delusional he is but I'll stick with these:

"I think we played fantastic, man. Defensively we did. Offensively, I kinda had it going tonight. I made other guys better. They felt confident out there when they got the ball to make something happen. We played great tonight. We can't hang our head over something like this. We gotta take this and build on it going back home."

Alright Carmelo, if you say so. Everyone knows that one guy dominating wins playoff games. We also know that saying you made all of your shitty teammates better because you were on the court will help. Don't fret though, because the Knicks "played great tonight". Maybe if you play to the exact same level of greatness next game you can lose again and be down 3-0 in the series.

Does he realize it's the playoffs? To be fair, the Knicks are busy building on this loss heading back to Madison Square Garden and maybe if they figure out how to close a game between now and then the might be able to figure things out in the next 82 games and be ready for a playoff run.

Don't hate on Carmelo too hard though, he's won 16 playoff games in 7 years. 10 of those wins came in 2009 when they were a 2 seed and beat a 7 seed then 6 seed to advance to the Western Conference Finals but couldn't close. Outside of that year Carmelo has won 6 playoff games in 6 years. That's pathetic. Winners win and losers lose.

My 2011 NBA Playoff Predictions

As much as I follow the NHL, that's how much Blog Dylan follows the NBA. As little as he follows the NHL, that's how little I follow the NBA.

NBA playoff games are only exciting in the 4th quarter so that's the time I'll probably tune in. The best part about the NBA playoffs starting is I know we are close to not having to see dunks on SportsCenter Top 10 every night. Oh ya, I forgot there are a million days off in between games. If a guy knocks up a girl on the same day the NBA playoffs start, which will happen first? She will give birth or the NBA playoffs will end.

Ugh, I just remembered most of the NBA games are on TNT. That means if I watch at all I'm going to have to deal with Charles Barkley. I'd rather watch re-runs of the MLS Cup than listen to him talk about how the 76ers are going to beat the Heat.

1st Round:
1 Chicago Bulls vs. 8 Indiana Pacers (Bulls in 4)
2 Miami Heat vs. 7 Philadelphia 76ers (Heat in 4)
3 Boston Celtics vs. 6 New York Knicks (Celtics in 7)
4 Orlando Magic vs. 5 Atlanta Hawks (Magic in 6)

1 San Antonio Spurs vs. 8 Memphis Grizzlies (Spurs in 6)
2 Los Angeles Lakers vs. 2 New Orleans Hornets (Lakers in 5)
3 Dallas Mavericks vs. 6 Portland Trailblazers (Mavericks in 6)
4 Oklahoma City Thunder vs. Denver Nuggets (Thunder in 7)

2nd Round:
1 Chicago Bulls vs. 4 Orlando Magic (Bulls in 6)
2 Miami Heat vs. 3 Boston Celtics (Celtics in 6)

1 San Antonio Spurs vs. 4 Oklahoma City Thunder (Thunder in 6)
2 Los Angeles Lakers vs. 3 Dallas Mavericks (Lakers in 7)

Conference Finals:
1 Chicago Bulls vs. 3 Boston Celtics (Bulls in 6)
2 Los Angeles Lakers vs. 4 Oklahoma City Thunder (Lakers in 7)

NBA Finals:
1 Chicago Bulls vs. 2 Los Angeles Lakers (Bulls in 6)

Here is your first round TV schedule, courtesy of NBA.com and me for taking all of these screen-shots and formatting them for you. Yes, again, you're welcome:

NBA Playoffs! Where Black Men Slamming on White Men Happens

The NBA season is kind of like jerking off. At first it’s really fun and exciting, but then suddenly you run out of new porn sites and start seeing the same stuff over and over. Then you find a new site (the playoffs) and jerking off is even better than in the beginning! Everybody and their dead grandma knows the regular season of the NBA is about as pointless as all women sports. Near the end of the season teams literally stop giving a shit and you see the Bucks start beating the Heat. Then the playoffs start and everybody is playing as hard as Jenna Jameson’s nipples. But seriously, this is a great time of the year and since the NBA is my (Joseph) Forte, here’s my analysis and picks.


Okay, yea, I'm really excited for the playoffs.

Eastern Conference:
(1) Chicago Bulls vs. (8) Indiana Pacers:
Not much to talk about here as the Bulls will roll through the Pacers. Obviously led by the almost consensus MVP Derrick Rose, the Bulls look like they might actually deserve the best seed in the NBA. A team that was rarely fully healthy all season (both Noah and Boozer missed serious time), the Bulls looked fantastic near the end of the season. Really can’t even see the Pacers winning a game in this match-up, even with my main man Tyler Hansbrough putting up great numbers. Rose will probably average 35 points a game and the Bulls will win in three games. Not a typo, Stern will cancel the 4th game because the Bulls have outscored the Pacers by 500,000 points in the first three games.

Bulls in 3

(2) Miami Heat vs. (7) Philadelphia 76ers
Clinching the two seed was huge for the Big Two and Chris Bosh because they avoided the interesting Knickerbockers and gave them a much easier series with the 76ers. The Sixers had a fantastic second half of the season and are led by a great coach in Doug Collins. Elton Brand is playing his best basketball in years and Andre Igodula has shown he has a great perimeter defender and offensive threat. But unfortunately the Heat have two random guys by the name of LeBron James and Dwayne Wade sooooo yeah, I’m taking the Heat.

Heat in 5

(3) Boston Celtics vs. (6) New York Knicks
Oh goodness now we’re getting excited, this is definitely the most exciting first round match up in the East. The Knicks sold their entire team to get the best player in the league (I’m Melo bias) Carmelo Anthony and since have had an interesting season. They play absolutely no defense and in D’Antoni’s system they will simply try and outscore every team. With that being said, the Celtics look terrible. It seems the Perkins trade really shook the team on and off the court. Apparently he was Rondo’s best friend and he has been a shade of the player he was before the trade. They are a year older and certainly look it. With the firepower the Knicks have, either Melo or Amare could get hot and carry that team to victories; this series could easily go into seven games. So with all that, I’m picking the Celtics. Last year I picked the Heat over the Celtics in the first round because of how bad the C’s were playing. Instead the Celtics were a game and an injury away from winning the NBA Championship. I’m not making that mistake again.

Celtics in 7

(4) Orlando Magic vs. (5) Atlanta Hawks
I have no idea what to make of the Hawks. They seem like they’re going to forever been happy with being a playoff team and getting destroyed in the first round. They overpaid an incredibly overrated player in Joe Johnson in the offseason and have done nothing to deserve any credit in the NBA. They’re lazy and show very little interest on defense. Al Horford, who started the season on a tear, has fallen off in the second half of the season. I’m not impressed with the Magic team (plus I bet a kid 20 bucks the Magic wouldn’t the East. What an idiot, who takes the Magic against the field?). I think when Dwight Howard wants to play he can be the most dominant player in the NBA and he’ll probably decide to give half a shit in the postseason.

Magic in 5

Western Conference:

(1) San Antonio Spurs vs. (8) Memphis Grizzlies
I need to say first off that I hate the Spurs. I think they’re boring and play like a bunch of pussies. All season I think they have been overrated and if they get out of this series, which I do believe is an if, then there is no way they make it out of the second round. The Grizzlies have a chance of giving the Spurs a bit of trouble. Manu’s elbow is hurt and without him the Spurs offense looks incredibly average. I do think Duncan will play much better in the playoffs; he has a great wisdom of pacing himself in the regular season and dominating in the playoffs. I do think the Spurs will win this, but expect it to be a tough series.

Spurs in 6

(2) Los Angeles Lakers vs (7) New Orleans Hornets
Kobe Bryant hit a huge shot in their last game of the season to force a win in a seemingly meaningless game against the Kings to clinch the second seed. Suddenly instead of facing a very tough Portland team, they’re gift-wrapped a poor New Orleans team even poorer without David West. The Lakers won all four games against the Hornets this season when the Hornets did have West. This should be a cake walk for the defending champs and unless Paul really gets hot and exposes the weak Lakers’ point guards, the Lakers sweep the Hornets easily.

Lakers in 4

(3) Dallas Mavericks vs. (6) Portland Trailblazers
There’s always those upset picks that become so popular to “experts” that they become a fad and lose their appeal. This is one of those upsets. The Mavs look incredibly weak behind Dirk; Jason Terry can never be fully trusted, Jason Kidd shoots a negative percantage from three-point land and Tyson Chandler looks lost on the offensive side. Don’t get me wrong, Dirk is certainly the best player in the series, but it could be argued that the Blazers have the next best five or six players. I really like LaMarcus Aldrige and see him having a breakout series to really show he deserved an All-Star berth this year. This may be a popular upset pick, but I’m going with it.

Blazers in 6

(4) Oklahoma City Thunder vs. (5) Denver Nuggets
This series could give a hell of a run for most exciting series of the playoffs. The Nuggets have looked like a new team since trading away the best player in the league (again, bias). They’re an incredibly deep team and play with a ton of energy in every game. They’re tough to beat at home and can easily give the favored Thunder a run for their money. The Thunder will have a tough time playing as the favorites this season, no longer viewed as the serious underdog of the league. They made a huge improvement in getting Perkins at the deadline who is a fantastic defender. What worries me about the Nuggets is they still don’t have a go-to scorer in the late games. Without Melo, they really rely on one guy getting hot and carrying their team to a victory. The Thunder don’t have that problem, either Durant or Westbrook can create their own shots and make clutch plays. Those two are the difference for me.

Thunder in 6

Second Round:
(1) Chicago Bulls in 6 vs. (4) Orlando Magic
(2) Miami Heat in 7 vs. (3) Boston Celtics

(4) Oklahoma City Thunder in 5 vs. (1) San Antonio Spurs
(2) Los Angeles Lakers in 6 vs. (6) Portland Trailblazers

Conference Finals:
(3) Miami Heat in 7 vs. (1) Chicago Bulls
(4) Oklahoma City Thunder in 6 vs. (2) Los Angeles Lakers

NBA Finals:
(2) Miami Heat in 6 vs. (4) Oklahoma City Thunder

Shocker? Maybe. I just think if this Heat team can get in a groove then they’re unbeatable. The 1-2 punch of Bron Bron and DWade trumps any other match up in the NBA. If Bosh can even play half decent than the Heat can beat anyone. They’re solid defensively and sooner or later have to figure out what to do in the clutch minutes. Teams can’t let Wade and James get hot cause if they do, watch out for the most-hated team in America to become the best NBA team.

These playoffs have the potential of being one of the best of all time. The second round matchups are all mouth watering games and will make for can’t miss TV. These games will all come down to the wire and should provide for great television.

Also, not only are NBA playoffs better than NHL, their commercials blow them out of the water.

Kobe Calls Ref A "Fucking Faggot"

This just in! Breaking news! Can't miss it!

Kobe is a dick. I don't understand why people get pissed off when he does things like this. What do you expect? He's always among the leaders in technical fouls, is constantly screaming at his teammates and oh yeah, he raped a chick.

So last night during a 102-93 win against the Spurs, Bryant was called for a technical foul (his 15th of the season) in the third quarter. Well Kobe walked over to the ref, apologized and shook his hand before he left the court. Yeah and Kate Beckinsale (still so hot) just came over and blew me.

No instead of being a decent player, Bryant walked to the bench, nearly punched some random practice player who nobody knows, threw his towel on the court and yelled "Bennie [The Ref who gave him the Tech). Fucking faggot."

The best part was TNT got the whole thing!

Jason Richardson Knocked Up Steve Nash's Wife

Steve Nash filed for divorce from his wife in December, one day after she gave birth. People were confused as to why he would file for divorce one day after she gave birth to his son but it's now being reported that the baby popped out black. In case you live under a rock and don't know who Steve Nash is, he's white - maybe the whitest guy in the NBA. According to The Jersey Chaser:

Nash married Alejandra Amarilla in 2005 but broke up a few months before the baby was born after rumors of cheating allegations. The allegations were confirmed when Aljejandra gave birth to a black baby. Now the father is said to be Nash’s former teammate Jason Richardson. The Suns abruptly traded Richardson to the Orlando Magic in December, around the same time the baby was born.

Looks like Steve Nash should have been hanging out with Louis Murphy or at least gotten an extenze prescription. Either that or his wife just really loves the chocolate loving. How badass are the Suns though? You are averaging 19.3 PPG this season but you go and knock up our best player's wife and they show no mercy.

At least Jason Richardson has shown he's a great father. In February 2009 he was arrested and Arizona Central reported:

Guard Jason Richardson was suspended without pay by the Suns for Tuesday night's home game against the Los Angeles Clippers after being jailed Sunday night for driving 90 mph in a 35-mph zone in Scottsdale with his 3-year-old son unrestrained in the back seat.

Richardson was booked on counts or endangerment, reckless driving, failure to use a child seat and excessive speed.

Kobe's Knee Feels About "60 Percent"

Since baseball's starting to end and I don't really give a fuck about the NFL, it is time to start looking forward to the NBA season. With all the hype down in Miami, people seem to forget that the best player in the league is still in L.A. Kobe had his knee operated on in July, the third time he has had surgery on it since 2003.

Bryant admitted after his team won their 2nd straight Championship that he was in quite some serious pain and had his knee drained throughout the playoffs. The Lakers opened their preseason against the Timberwolves in London yesterday and Kobe only played six minutes. He went 0-3 shooting and immediately had ice on his knee after being taken out.

Oh, and pray Melo stays <3

Brawl at Kindergarten Graduation Over Lakers Facebook Comments

Two women were charged with misdemeanors yesterday after getting into a fight during their kids kindergarten graduation ceremony in June. The fight allegedly stemmed from a comment made on facebook about the Lakers between one of the kids mothers and another kids grandmother. Yes, a fight at a kindergarten graduation happened because of comments made on facebook about the Lakers. The article says...

"'This all started because of a Facebook comment between this other woman and my grandmother about the Lakers,' said Queiona Burt, 31, one of the women arrested following a brawl that broke out at a recent Puesta del Sol Elementary School kindergarten graduation. 'But I want to apologize to the school and the community and say this is not what I’m about. I was trying to defend myself.'"

The exact facebook comments were not known but are said to have involved one of the women trash talking the Lakers and the other taking offense to it. The other lady was probably a Clippers fan and just had so much built up anger that she did what any rational person would do - take to facebook to let it all out against her cross-town rival. Everyone knows Lakers fans are big babies and can't handle trash talking so I'm guessing that's where things started going wrong. I imagine the conversation then went something like this:

Lakers fan: "Oh no you did not just call Kobe a bitch"
Clippers fan: "Uh huh I did. What you 'gon do about it slut?"
Lakers fan: "I'ma whoop your hooker ass and claw a bitch up next time I see you."
Clippers fan: "Just because Kobe pays you to suck his dick you don't have to get all defensive."
Lakers fan: "Next time I see you I'm going to beat yo ass so hard you need another hip replacement."

That's probably about where things ended on facebook and where the ladies again did what any rational person would do - throw down at their kids kindergarten graduation to settle shit. Video of the news report is below:

Luckily for the grandmother (and unluckily for the viewers/us) her daughter stepped in to fight for her. Bother women who engaged in the fight were charged with "interference with peaceful conduct on campus and unlawful acts committed at school grounds, according to court records. If convicted, they could face up to six months in jail on the former count and up to 90 days in jail or a $400 fine on the latter count."

Shaq to Celtics? And NBA Schedule

The Big Diesel will be planting his overweight self in some new paint this year after a disappointing spell in Cleveland. ESPN is reporting he will sign with the Boston Celtics. The former NBA MVP is nothing special on the offensive side of the ball anymore, averaging 12 points and 6.7 rebounds, but can still be used as a big man there to rough up some guards and protect the paint. I personally think this is a smart signing by the Celtics because they need a big man after losing Perkins for over half the season with a knee injury. Don't expect Shaq to get much more than 20 points a game and I'd be surprised if he even averaged that high of points next season, but it's filling a need for the Celtics and isn't a terrible signing.



In more interesting news, a couple of the really interesting games were released today and shockingly, the Heat are involved in the NBA opener. It's not a bad game: Heat vs. Celtics. Some may say the Heat should open in Cleveland for great ratings, but I think that is a horrible idea for 2 reasons: 1) there will obviously be some type of violence and 2) it would be a terrible game after the opening 30 seconds. The Heat vs the reigning Eastern Conference Champion Boston Celtics will be a great match up.


Once again, the presents on Christmas Day will suck compared to the beautiful schedule of NBA games. We start with the Bulls vs. Knicks, Celtics vs. Magic, Heat vs. Lakers (shocking I know), Best team in the world (Nuggets) vs Thunder, and we finish with the Blazers vs. the Warriors.

The season doesn't start until October 26 so we unfortunately have a while to wait but I'm counting down the days.

Bold Prediction? The Heat don't win the NBA Championship, let alone the Eastern Conference title. Lakers make it 3 in a row.

Tyreke Evans Caught Racing 130 mph

Rookie of the Year Tyreke Evans was caught racing a friend Memorial Day weekend in Sacramento. He was clocked at speeds approaching 130 mph in his purple Mercedes. Both Evans and his friend pled no contest to reckless driving. According to Fox Sports, Evans had his license suspended for 30 days, has three years of informal probation, 80 hours of alternative sentencing and he must participate in two different California Highway Patrol programs.

The first thing that came to my mind after reading about this was "of course he has a purple Mercedes." The second thing was "we should have a 'Ricky' of the week post every Sunday." If you are wondering what the hell "Ricky" means let me explain. "The Junkies" is a weekday morning radio talk show that uses the term "Ricky" to call someone a "dick" on the air since they can not say dick. The term's meaning has evolved over the years to simply make fun of each other for idiotic things that they do. They explain the meaning as...

"Ricky is actually a euphemism used sporadically in PG County some 20 years ago. It is the shortened version of Richard. While the obvious nickname would be Dick, Ricky serves as a witty device to go the long way and refer to someone as a 'dick'. In years past you might hear Lurch refer to another as 'Richard Cranium', that is translated to 'Dick Head'.

Usually pronounced "Riiiickay". Alluding to former Miami Dolphins football player Ricky Williams, this Junkism refers to any person who makes poor decisions, such as Williams who has been repeatedly suspended and fined for violating the NFL’s substance-abuse policy."

Tyreke Evans, it is with great honor that I present to you the inaugural "Ricky of the Week" award.

There is no word on whether he will be suspended but he definitely should be for such idiotic behavior. The video shows him swerving in-and-out of traffic which is really really dangerous and just childish. The video is 13 minutes long but you should at least watch the beginning and the end because he gets arrested at gun point by a cop on a motorcycle. Everyone knows motorcycle cops are bitches and Tyreke got put in his place by one. Evans acted like his 20-year-old self but is expected to act more mature as an NBA star and role model. And people wonder why the Latarian Miltons of the world act the way they do. Here is the police video of the event that was just released:

Amar'e Stoudemire is Jewish

That explains why he signed with the Knicks...

Amar'e Stoudemire recently found out that his mother was Jewish which, according to Jewish law, makes the son Jewish. Bee-tee-dubya this is his mom. After learning about his new religious background he demanded more money from the Knicks, decided to retire from the NBA so he could attend college and get a finance degree and take a trip to Israel to learn about his roots. Well that last part is real. He's been twatting about his trip and how he plans to learn Hebrew. I'd just like to point out that his twitter account is "Amareisreal" which was meant to mean "Amare is real" but ironically also nearly reads as "Amare Israel".

Israel's oldest newspaper, Haaretz, is pushing for Amar'e to join the Israeli national basketball team, saying...

"News of Stoudemire's trip quickly had Israeli basketball fans buzzing with speculation that they might one day see him playing alongside another Jewish NBA star, Israel's Omri Casspi, on the national team.

So far there is no indication as to whether Stoudemire is here to stay – although for the moment, Israel seems to be getting along just fine without him, beating Great Britain 86-82 in Tuesday's training game."

Ahhhh yes, nothing says dominance like beating Great Britain in a training game of basketball. I think this is all a plot by Amar'e so that he can celebrate Chrismukkah without anyone bitching. Also, Amar'e twatted this right after he discovered his Jewish roots...

Yeah, okay Amar'e...you were playing Chess...and I was just having a threesome with Marisa Miller and Megan Fox.

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