Shaq to Celtics? And NBA Schedule

The Big Diesel will be planting his overweight self in some new paint this year after a disappointing spell in Cleveland. ESPN is reporting he will sign with the Boston Celtics. The former NBA MVP is nothing special on the offensive side of the ball anymore, averaging 12 points and 6.7 rebounds, but can still be used as a big man there to rough up some guards and protect the paint. I personally think this is a smart signing by the Celtics because they need a big man after losing Perkins for over half the season with a knee injury. Don't expect Shaq to get much more than 20 points a game and I'd be surprised if he even averaged that high of points next season, but it's filling a need for the Celtics and isn't a terrible signing.



In more interesting news, a couple of the really interesting games were released today and shockingly, the Heat are involved in the NBA opener. It's not a bad game: Heat vs. Celtics. Some may say the Heat should open in Cleveland for great ratings, but I think that is a horrible idea for 2 reasons: 1) there will obviously be some type of violence and 2) it would be a terrible game after the opening 30 seconds. The Heat vs the reigning Eastern Conference Champion Boston Celtics will be a great match up.


Once again, the presents on Christmas Day will suck compared to the beautiful schedule of NBA games. We start with the Bulls vs. Knicks, Celtics vs. Magic, Heat vs. Lakers (shocking I know), Best team in the world (Nuggets) vs Thunder, and we finish with the Blazers vs. the Warriors.

The season doesn't start until October 26 so we unfortunately have a while to wait but I'm counting down the days.

Bold Prediction? The Heat don't win the NBA Championship, let alone the Eastern Conference title. Lakers make it 3 in a row.

Chris Paul Wants Out of New Orleans

Chris Paul, aka CP3, is without a doubt one of the best point guards in the game and was seriously missed last season for the NBA. Now that he's back from injury, he realized how shitty of a team he's on and wants to get out of there. He told team officials today that if the team doesn't look like winning a championship then he wants to be traded. Paul then gave a list to the Hornets with teams like the Lakers, Magic, and at the top of the list, the New York Knicks. Paul most likely wants to go to NY because Amare is there now and there is a very good chance Carmelo Anthony will join them next year. I can't blame Chris Paul for wanting out because New Orleans is a horrible team that most certainly do NOT look like they are winning a title soon. He saw what happened in Miami and it's clear he is now interested in a dream team.

Here's a nice little compilation on how freaking good Chris Paul is:

Jimmy Kimmel Quickly Gaining Credibility

As everybody knows, the Lakers beat the Celtics in 7 games this year to win the NBA Championships. But that's not the only story. Instead, it's important to look at the two players who single handily carried their teams to the Championships and ultimately, the title. I know what you're all thinking: "Oh yeah Kobe's da bomb!" or "Yeah Rondo's super sweet!". Oh how wrong you are. Who are these titans of the sport? None other than Brian Scalabrine and Adam Morrison. Kimmel apparently shares our love for these two superstar players and did us the incredible deed of making compilations of both Morrison's and Scalabrine's PHENOMENAL NBA finals.

Thank you Jimmy, thank you for showing the world what true basketball is. But most importantly, thank you Adam Morrison and Brian Scalabrine for your constant entertainment and stellar skills.

Ron Artest Sings, Drinks and has a Therapist

If you haven't seen this video of Ron Artest being interviewed after Game 7 of the Finals, he starts thanking people and even includes his therapist! It shouldn't shock me he has a therapist because he is bat-shit insane but it's still funny to hear him thank his therapist on national television after winning the NBA championship. Before the interview is over he even promotes his new single which is called "Champions". I bet that's going straight to #1.

TMZ has been following him around all week which I imagine gets pretty annoying for Ronald but he keeps talking to them. They asked him about his psychiatrist and he responded by calling her "dope" about 10 times. He's given us enough new material to create a drinking game.

Just in case you like shitty rap music here is that single he was yapping about. A warning - it is horrendous from start to finish and listening to it makes me want to rip my ears off.

Doc Rivers Uses Bribery to Get Celtics to Finals

Apparently Doc Rivers made all of his players, coaches, equipment managers, etc. give him $100 after they played the Lakers in Los Angeles back on February 18th. He put the money ($2,600 total) in a sealed enveloped and hid it in the ceiling of the visitor's locker room. Doc told his team that if they wanted it back they had to make it back to the finals to get it since they didn't have a game in LA on their remaining schedule.


I guess that is a great way to motivate your players...if you are coaching a high school team. Does $100 really matter to someone like Paul Pierce who is making nearly 20 million a year? Their roster has 17 players listed which means Doc got $100 from 9 coaches and equipment managers. I think the $100 would be more important to a lowly equipment manager but what would good would motivating them do - how could they impact the Celtics chances of getting to the finals. Did they start using fabric softener so the uniforms would be more comfortable? Perhaps they broke-in new shoes so the players didn't get blisters? Maybe they heated the boxer briefs in case the arena was a tad under 72 degrees.

What if the Celtics had made it back to the finals but against a different team? Doc told them the only way they would get their money back was to make it to the finals. What if they played against Dallas, or Phoenix, or Denver? Would Doc have just paid them all or would he have had to pull something out of Ocean's Eleven and steal all the money back? I could definitely see Nate Robinson playing "The Amazing" Yen. Maybe Doc watched Blue Streak in the hotel room that night and that's where he got his inspiration.

I like the fact that the Celtics made it back to the finals against the Lakers and the money was still there. In the sealed envelope. In the ceiling. Untouched. They probably put it all toward drinks at the bar after getting their asses handed to them Game 1.

Artest Shells Out the Dough

Ron Artest bought $18,000 worth of tickets for the first game of the finals which was Thursday. His intent was to let 2 random fans enjoy an NBA finals game because he knows it is way too expensive and most people can't afford it. The 18 grand could only buy 2 courtside tickets which makes me wonder why he didn't buy cheaper tickets so he could send more fans to the game.

Why did he shell out 18 grand of his own money? Maybe he thought he needed some good karma. I guess it paid off since they dominated the Celtics 102-89. It was definitely a nice gesture from one of the NBA's more recognized jackasses