Nicholas Cage Arrested Plus Mug Shot

Nicholas Cage was arrested last Friday after arguing with his wife. He was booked on suspicion of domestic abuse battery, disturbing the peace and public drunkenness charges but Dog the Bounty Hunter posted his $11,000 bail. Well his mug shot has been released and here it is.

This is my favorite celebrity mug shot in a while and I spent all day deciding that so that's saying something. Reuters says:

(Cage) and his wife were standing in front of a residence that he insisted was the property the couple was renting," Flot said in the statement. "She disagreed and Cage grabbed her by the upper arm and pulled her to what he believed was the correct address."

The actor then began striking cars and tried to get into a taxi cab, Flot said.

"At that point, an officer who had been flagged down by on-lookers drove up on the couple, immediately observed that Cage was heavily intoxicated, and ordered him out of the cab, which prompted Cage to start yelling. The officers subsequently took Cage to Central Lock-Up," Flot said.

The real crime in all of this is that he doesn't have a hotter wife. Or that he thought she was worth going to jail over. The man used to be a wealthy movie star and this is all he could land?

Lindsay Lohan Sentenced to Jail

Earlier today, Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 120 days in jail plus 480 hours of community service for violating her probation. She was on trial for felony theft but the judge dropped it to a misdemeanor.

Her bail was set at $75,000 and of course it was paid. If there is someone willing to pay Nicholas Cage's bail someone will pay Lindsay Lohan's.

About five hours after trial-bound starlet was sentenced to 120 days in jail and 480 hours of community service, she posted $75,000 bail with the help of her trusty bail bondsman and was a free woman pending her attorney's appeal of today's ruling.

She was released from Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, Calif., just before 9:30 p.m., after which she was driven off in a black SUV with a police escort.

In July Lindsay was sentenced to 90 days in jail for violating her probation but only served 14 of those 90 days. I'm putting the over/under on her jail time this go-round at 33 days. That total might be too much but I feel good about that prediction and am sticking to it. ET released video footage from the jewelry store where she stole the necklace. Even if this video shows nothing, she obviously stole the necklace so she should view this sentence as a win.

Lindsay Lohan Offered 1 Million Dollars For Post-Jail Interview

I seriously hate this dumbass bitch. Lindsay Blohan who should be in jail for another 2 months is now being offered a million dollars for her first interview after jail. This is the kind of shit that makes Lindsay still think she's relevant in this world. Nobody likes her, she sucks at acting, and doesn't even have that big of tits! She gets special treatment in jail, leaves early, and now is getting paid to tell her lame, most likely made up story.


Die Lohan.

Source

Lindsay Lohan Released From Jail, Goes to Rehab

You may recall that Lindsay Lohan went to jail exactly 2 weeks ago to serve 90 days. Well she was released from jail Sunday at midnight after serving only 13 days. I will never understand how every celebrity who receives a few months in jail gets out after a few weeks. The judge obviously knew all along that Lindsay wouldn't serve the entire time so why not just make her sentence two weeks instead of 90 days. Would she have gotten out after like 3 days if that happened?


Lindsay has been bitching during this whole ordeal about how she is innocent even after she clearly broke a million laws. She even wanted time off in between when her jail time ended and when she had to report to rehab. She also wanted to hand-pick the rehab facility she would attend. TMZ reported that the rehab facility Lindsay picked out was spending over $200,000 on remodeling in preparation for her arrival. This is the rehab Lindsay wanted to go to. And frankly, who wouldn't want to go there, the website advertises that its patients get to do really cool shit. It says...

"The Newport Beach peninsula, where our facilities are located, has nine miles of sandy beaches and endless opportunities for those looking to surf, sun, body-board, sail, snorkel or just enjoy the terrific year-round weather on the shores of one of California’s most picturesque playgrounds. Newport Beach and the surrounding areas boast museums, world-class shopping malls, restaurants, golf courses, theme parks (including Disneyland, and California Adventure), and the famous Orange County Performing Arts Center."

A last minute change sent Lindsay to a UCLA rehab and deprived her of surfing, shopping and going to Disneyland for the next 90 days. I'm strongly considering developing an addiction so I can take a vacation for 3 months.


Lindsay planned a big exit from jail that included calling in her famous hairstylist to make her look good on the 30 second walk from the jail door to her car. Well the people at the jail foiled that plan. As tons of media were camped outside the front doors and Lindsay was getting ready to make her grand exit, she was taken to a back door and immediately put into a waiting SUV. Instead of getting time off like the spoiled bitch wanted, she was taken straight to rehab where she will spend the next 90 days. Unlike jail, Lindsay has to spend the entire sentence time in rehab and can't get out early.

People commented that Lindsay is "very upset" that she wasn't allowed to see her family before going to rehab. The article also says...

"Lohan, the source adds, is feeling depressed.' '[She] is having a difficult time accepting that she will be in rehab for the next three months,' the source says. 'She still doesn't think that she needs any help.'"

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. In honor of Lindsay's rehab and constant bitching:

Lindsay Lohan's Mugshot

I can't tell you how much joy this picture gives me. Many said this day would never come, some said Lindsay Lohan would never serve time, but I had faith. Now that it has actually happened I feel a mix of incredible euphoria and sadness. Euphoria because she is in jail where she belongs, but sadness because I think this has actually made her more famous, still I can't wait to read her prison diaries. Also here is an artists' (me) rendering of Lohan walking into jail this morning.

(Please ignore the black hands.)
(Also the fact that this is a scene from Madea Goes to Jail)

Lindsay Lohan is Going to Jail Today!

Christmas in July! It's been 2 weeks since Lindsay was sentenced to 90 days in jail and she is due to report to Shawshank at 8:30am PDT. We are in for an awesome few hours of watching Lindsay cry, lie and try to come up with excuse after excuse to get out of going. Yesterday it was reported that her new attorney, Robert Shapiro, quit on her and no one knows what she is going to do about that. She has also been on suicide watch, negotiating her first post-jail interview and tweeting about her awesome relationship with her father.

I'm glad to see that everything is good with Lindsay because I definitely don't want to watch her train-wreck of a life. Ah who am I kidding, that is the best part. The ideal scenario before she enters the jail cell would be for her to cry, get yelled at, fail a drug test, be told she has to serve the entire 90 days, not get the post-jail interview deal and be confused for a man and have to go to the dude prison. Here's to everything going as terribly as possible in a few hours!

Wesley Snipes Goes to Jail

Wesley Snipes, aka your shadow, aka the darkest man alive is going to jail today for a bad-ass reason. No he didn't kill anybody. No he didn't rob a bank. It's even better, tax evasion. Now I'll let you calm down from your shock for a second because I understand how terrifying of a crime that is. I'm secretly still hoping this arrest will lead to the discovery of 500 headless bodies buried underneath his house. These are the type of celebrities I love and my dying wish is to see a Wesley Snipes porn tape. With Tara Reid.

LiLo Live Ustream In COURT - UPDATE

HAHAHAHAHA. Lindsay Lohan is in court right now because she's an idiot and keeps violating her probation. Somehow CBS is airing it on Ustream for all to see. It is just excellent...check it out. Try not to laugh too hard when they zoom in on her and she tries to act innocent.

**BREAKING NEWS** - LINDSAY LOHAN IS FOUND GUILTY OF VIOLATING HER PROBATION (AND SHE IS CRYING!!!!!)


**UPDATE** - Lindsay received 90 days in jail and will begin serving on July 20, 2010 at 8:30 AM local time. The judge wanted her to begin serving immediately but her lawyer asked for and was granted a 2 week release. She is crying harder now and I can't help but laughing. Her lawyer asked the judge if she could remove the SCRAM bracelet for the 2 weeks and take blood tests every morning but the judge refused. Whelp I guess Lindsay can't get Jake Gyllenhoused and drown away her sorrows for the next 2 weeks. Hopefully LiLo is still in that lesbian phase...

Live TV : Ustream