Twilight: Breaking Dawn Release Dates

Thank god, I was starting to lose sleep not knowing when part 1 of Breaking Dawn was being released. Oh what do you ask? Yes, there will be two parts of this shithole movie to make even more money from annoying teen girls. The first part of Breaking Dawn will be released November 18, 2011 and the second part will be released almost exactly a year after, November 16, 2012. The Big 3 (no not Pierce-Garnett-Allen or James-Wade-Bosh) of Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner will all be returning to their undead roles. Not that I really care about the plot, but yes I will go see it. Only cause I fucking love Kristen Stewart. If you haven't seen her in Adventureland, go kill yourself. Actually watch the movie then go kill yourself.

Taylor Lautner Talks Weird

I saw Twilight: Eclipse yesterday and it did not disappoint. Critics aren't even ragging on it too hard as it received a 51% on Rotten Tomatoes, the highest score yet for the series. Eclipse provided just the right mix of romance (no homo? fuck it, I don't care if you think this movie is gay) and action. I previously talked about how the addition of David Slade (30 Days of Night) as director would add more violence and blood and he did just that. The fight scenes were awesome and the werewolves were bad-ass. Also, as the title of the post states...I noticed Taylor Lautner talks weird and it's annoying. I'm pretty sure he is on roids and skipped puberty altogether.


If you see this movie in theaters you will have to deal with the fact that the audience is 99% girls under the age of 15 so to cope with that here is a drinking game for the movie...before I get to that though, Ugg Boots For Men would like to formally introduce you to our sister site, Drink Through the Credits. DTTC will be the home for all your movie drinking game needs. It is in the early stages but is being updated everyday so be sure to check it out often for all the new updates and additions. Follow us on twitter for all the latest updates/news. Man do I love shameless promotion.

Drink Whenever

...someone says "love"
...you see a werewolf
...someone is shirtless
...anyone dies
...anyone kisses
...the past is referenced

Chug Whenever

...someone says "newborn(s)"

Texans Are Pussies!

Paranormal Activity was some lame, semi-scary movie that was way over-hyped and made a shit ton of money. The best thing about that movie was the genius who created it. It took 15k to make and grossed over $193 million. Damn I should have taped that time my girlfriend beat the shit out of me.

Anyway, apparently the trailer was used for the Twilight movie and scared a bunch of sissys who shouldn't be watching movies anyways. They complained, and since this is America and you can get anything by complaining, the trailer was removed. The trailer isn't even that bad, check it out.

Another Twilight Eclipse Trailer

Summit has released another Twilight trailer. The film release is just 26 days away (June 30) and looks to shatter box office records. I found this trailer to be sort of weird because of the narrator's very deep voice - it seems they are trying to portray it as a huge action thriller which it is not. Oh well, the more trailers the better.

My Top 10 Most Anticipated Summer Movies

Everyone looks forward to summer movies. Hollywood rolls out huge blockbusters during the summer, many of which companies have sunk enormous budgets into. I thought I would provide my "Top 10 Most Anticipated Summer Movies" list for you. The movies I chose might not be the biggest blockbusters, but they are the ones I am looking forward to seeing the most (the release time-line I am using is May 21-August 27).

10. The Other Guys (August 6)
    



Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg in an action-comedy? Yes, please. The cast also includes Samuel L. Jackson, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Eva Mendes, and Damon Wayans. Will Ferrell makes anything funny and Wahlberg/The Rock/Samuel L. provide a great bad-ass ensemble.


9. Shrek Forever After (May 21)
   



Everyone loves the Shrek movies and they always make bank at the box office. They are very well written with humor for all ages and the animation is always great. You know you'll end up seeing this before the summer is over.


8. Killers (June 4)
   
   
   
   Seeing a romantic "action" comedy makes me feel a tiny bit more manly than seeing a plain romantic comedy. That is what we have here. Katherine Heigl is the single blonde who falls for Ashton Kutcher, a CIA agent. She doesn't know he works for the CIA until one of their friends is contracted to kill them. It has a very Mr. & Mrs. Smith feel with a little more comedy and a little more romance. Fine by me.
   


7. Inception (July 16)
   



Inception is Christopher Nolan's follow-up to The Dark Knight. If that doesn't make you want to see this film then I don't know what will. How about the fact that it stars Leonardo DiCaprio as a thief who steals secrets from people while they are sleeping. The twist is that in his last job he must plant a secret instead of steal one. Other cast members include Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Marion Cotillard and Michael Caine.


6. The A-Team (June 11)
   



The A-Team is based on the 1980s television series of the same name and stars Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Patrick Wilson (what is it with all these Patrick Wilson appearances) and Jessica Biel. Basically, it involves 4 special forces soldiers who are arrested for crimes they did not commit. They manage to escape from prison and do a bunch of bad-ass shit on a 165 million-dollar production budget.


5. MacGruber (May 21)
   



I never thought turning the MacGruber SNL sketches into a movie would be a good idea until I saw the trailer. It looks hilarious and action packed. Ryan Phillippe and Val Kilmer were interesting choices to pair with the SNL cast but I have no doubt the SNL people know how to make anything funny.


4. Toy Story 3 (June 18)
   



If you haven't seen the first 2 Toy Story movies, you didn't have a childhood. Simply put - they were incredible. Toy Story was released in 1995 and Toy Story 2 in 1999. I'd say a 10 year wait is quite the build-up for Toy Story 3. Considering that BOTH Toy Story and Toy Story 2 received 100% scores on Rotten Tomatoes, it might be hard for 3 to live up to the hype but it also tells you how great this film series is. Oh yeah, it's also in 3-D.


3. Get Him to the Greek (June 4)
   



"Get Him to the Greek is a spin-off from Forgetting Sarah Marshall, reuniting director Stoller with stars Hill and Brand. Brand reprises his character Aldous Snow from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. 1) I loved Forgetting Sarah Marshall 2) The Aldous Snow character is hilarious 3) The trailer for this movie looks awesome


2. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (June 30)
   



Considering that the last movie in the Twlight Saga, New Moon, ranks 3rd on the all-time biggest box office opening weekends ever ($142,839,137), it's pretty safe to say that there are more than a few people eager to see this movie. They might all be teenage girls and moms but that doesn't make me any less excited to see it. Does that last sentence need a "no homo"? Would it help if I told you they hired David Slade to direct it (he directed 30 Days of Night) - which means there will be much more violence and gore than the first two movies.


1. Grown Ups (June 25)
   



Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade and Rob Schneider? Hell yes this movie will be hilarious. Not to mention it includes Salma Hayek, Maria Bello and Maya Rudolph as the female leads. I might have to pre-order tickets to go see this.

Honorable Mentions: Predators, Twelve, The Switch, Knight and Day

True Blood: Keep The Keys To The Man-Cave.

Recently, I informed a friend that True Blood was returning on June 13th.

Her reply, “You know how I know you’re gay?”

My not-so-witty, brash, and aghast reply, “It is on HBO, so I get to see tits.”

Well, True Blood is much more than a great set of melons and vampires. It is a show with an engaging plot, clever dialogue, and unrealistic character development. Sure, the show is attached to the ‘vampire craze’ but there is no part about the show that means handing over your man-card is necessary.

Anna Paquin, Deborah Ann Woll (for my ginger fever lovers), and Anna Camp headline a visually orgasmic trio of female leads. They are hot enough to keep your nether-regions warm in the Arctic winter. And of course, there is the the cougar-tastic Michelle Forbes who provides the delectable MILF element to the sensual female ensemble.

Also, there is a lot of bad-assery to the war between vampires and humans. Imagine for a second if Blade had actual writers, it would be roughly the same as True Blood. A group of humans trying to resist the uprising of mystical creatures. True Blood just takes it further and gives the characters actual emotions and dialogue. (We are excluding the craptastic sub-plot from last season which will not be named for the integrity of the show.)

The only difference is True Blood’s lead character is female. So the obvious comparisons are drawn to Twilight, the two shows are nothing alike. Tween-boopers rage, climax, and scream to the very scent of Twilight. It takes a sophisticated eye to spot a gem in True Blood. It is not the same type of hype, and female-driven unrealistic love for True Blood. It is a low-key, under the radar, and under-appreciated television show in its premium cable glory.

So if you want to see a good pair of hooters, tune into HBO on June 13 at 8 PM. The rest of the hour long episode will be a good story too, and you can keep that man-card if you keep tuning in.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse OFFICIAL TRAILER

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse trailer has been released and it is awesome. The movie comes out June 30th which is just about 3 months away. Check out the trailer below (it is set to stream in 1080p HD but if your internet is slow you can reduce the quality on the bottom right so that it streams faster).