Jon Rauch Ejected From Jays/Phillies Game in Epic Fashion

Let me set the scenario for this one. Top of the 9th. Philadelphia Phillies at-bat up 4-3. Jon Rauch comes on to pitch for the Toronto Blue Jays. Chase Utley was on 1st with 2 outs when Ryan Howard came to the plate. With a 2-2 count Jon Rauch threw two pitches that could have been called strikes to draw a walk. The next batter, Shane Victorino, single in Utley to give the Phillies a 5-3 lead and then Rauch went ape-shit on the ump about the 2 pitches he called balls which would have ended the inning without that run. Keep in mind Jon Rauch is 6'11" and weighs 251.

It was like trying to hold back The Hulk and Superman combined. When his manager, John Farrell, came out to restrain him and ripped his jersey off it instantly became my favorite part of the 2011 first half. What is it with July and tantrums? MLB should scrap the home run derby next week and instead have a 12 round bout between Jon Rauch and Brian Wilson. I'd take Rauch in a 3rd round knockout.

The last two pitches looked good but luckily for us there's a website called Brooks Baseball that tracks every single pitch in baseball and shows it's exact location. Ball 3 (pitch #5) was close but the ump was calling that a strike all game. Ball 4 (pitch #6) well, even this kid knew it was a strike. I'm going to hell but I love technology so hopefully they have that there!

Sunday Night Baseball Drinking Game - Braves vs. Phillies Edition

Last Sunday night during the broadcast of ESPN Sunday Night Baseball between the Mets and Phillies, the news that we had killed Osama Bin Laden was released and quickly spread throughout the ballpark. The fans then erupted in a "USA" chant. Hopefully tonight there will be some equally as crazy/awesome news during the game. Like news that Anheuser-Busch made too much beer and they are giving away free beer for a week.

Bobby Valentine is quickly climbing his way up the "most annoying announcer list" so here is our Sunday Night Baseball Drinking Game to get you through the night. The "drink" rules will stay the same each week but the "chug" rule will change depending on who's playing.

Drink every time:

ESPN uses the behind the plate camera view
They use K-Zone during an at-bat (one drink per batter)
Bobby Valentine says something that makes you want to mute the TV
The ump and K-Zone disagree (2 drinks)

Chug:

Whenever the Philly crowd boos

Extra chug rule for this week:

Whenever Osama Bin Laden being killed during the Sunday Night broadcast last week is mentioned

"USA" Chant at Phillies Game After News That Osama Bin Laden Has Been Killed

The news that President Barry Obama would be giving a speech around 10:30pm Wednesday night and then the news that it would be about the killing of Osama Bin Laden came out at the same time the Philadelphia Phillies took on the New York Mets at Citizens Bank Park on Sunday Night Baseball. Fans at the park quickly learned of the news and started a "USA" chant.

This chant was actually in response to one of the 6-year-old fans shotgunning a PBR in the nose bleeds.

Sunday Night Baseball Drinking Game - Mets vs. Phillies Edition

Bobby Valentine is quickly climbing his way up the "most annoying announcer list" so here is our Sunday Night Baseball Drinking Game to get you through the night. The "drink" rules will stay the same each week but the "chug" rule will change depending on who's playing.

Drink every time:

ESPN uses the behind the plate camera view
They use K-Zone during an at-bat (one drink per batter)
Bobby Valentine says something that makes you want to mute the TV
The ump and K-Zone disagree (2 drinks)

Chug:

Whenever the Phillie crowd boos

Extra chug rule for this week:

Whenever a Phillies fan barfs on another person

PhillieBot Booed at Phillies Game

A few weeks ago we learned that a robot would throw out the first pitch at a Phillies game. We knew Phillies fans were the biggest douches in sports and I expected them to barf all over the robot but I didn't expect them to boo a robot. Today, that happened. Phillies fans booed a robot who threw out the first pitch. Don't be surprised when SkyNet takes down all of Philadelphia. Actually, let's root for that. Hard.

At the Phillies game today a robot threw out the first pitch. His claim to fame was that a) he was a robot and b) he could throw 30-40 MPH. Has this robot heard of batting cage robots because they do exactly what he does but better. CSN says:

For the past two months, Penn engineering students worked on a robot that would throw out the first pitch at Wednesday’s game at Citizens Bank Park in honor of the Philadelphia Science Festival. Called PhillieBot, the 230-pound robot with a Segway base and a robot arm rolled up to the mound to toss a pitch to the Phillie Phanatic. Per request of the Phillies, the robot could only throw the ball 30 to 40 miles per hour.

When I heard that a "robot" would throw the first pitch at a baseball game I imagined it to be a silly 110 MPH fastball but today we were reminded that man > robots. This is probably a "sandbagging" robot so we should also take this as a reminder that we can't trust robots because he/she/it wants us to think he/she/it is dumb and then when we are distracted he/she/it will strike.

This just gave me an idea for a great new game: Barf-Robot-Taser. Yes, I just made that up and it's a copy of Rock-Paper-Scissors but I intend to copyright it because it will be awesome to play. Barf beats taser, robot beats barf, taser beats robot. If I was to ever make a Philadelphia fan happy this is the moment.

Red Sox Nation Ready For Opening Day

MVPedroia is ready

Watching the Sox-Phillies Spring Training game this afternoon got my dick harder than those Kim Kardashian pictures a couple posts down. I love baseball more than anything else in the world so knowing it's so close make me as happy as a little asian girl in a Hello Kitty store. It also helps that the Red Sox had one of the best offseasons ever (adding Carl Crawford and Adrian Gonzalez) and come into the season as favorites to represent the American League in the Fall Classic.

The Red Sox finished 89-73 and 7 games behind AL East winners the Tampa Bay Rays and 1 gameb back of the Yankees. It’s unfortunate because of the fact that many teams would kill for a record like that, but for an organization with a payroll and following like the Red Sox? It isn’t enough.


Many, including myself, were worried my God (Theo Epstein, Red Sox GM) would take the summer slow, maybe improve the bullpen but nothing too big. Why should they? Without all the injuries the Red Sox certainly would have been closer to the playoffs and certainly they’ll go into next year with a similar lineup.

Not even close. The Red Sox made HUGE signings in Carl Crawford and Adrian Gonzalez as well as picking up important bullpen pieces like Bobby Jenks, Matt Albers and Dan Wheeler. The different line up possibilities are out the roof and if the pitching performs as it should, the Sox should be a force to reckon with.


The most important parts of the team shouldn’t be the new players coming in, but instead the returning pieces. A fully healthy Pedroia, Ellsbury and Youkilis should be enough to see the Red Sox return to dominance, but the new additions make them a scary team. A perfect lineup would be having

1) Pedroia
2) Crawford
3) Youkilis
4) Gonzalez
5) Ortiz
6) Drew
7) Saltalamacchia
8) Lowrie/Scutaro
9) Ellsbury

This gives your four best hitters a chance at a fifth AB later in the game. With the game on the line you’d rather have Pedroia at the plate than Ellsbury. With that being said, batting Ellsbury ninth would basically give you another leadoff hitter. He would be hitting in front of Pedroia as the lineup turns over from 9-1.

Another huge factor of the Sox will be their speed on the base paths. While it may seem crazy, a combined 120 stolen bases between Crawford and Ellsbury isn’t too crazy. Depending on how aggressive Francona plays, expect to see both players a constant threat to steal.

Keep an eye on Gonzalez and his numbers. He’s leaving one of the most pitcher-friendly ballparks in Petco Park and entering one of the most hitter-friendly in Fenway. He's an excellent opposite field hitter so Gonzo should be able to belt doubles against the Green Monster. A Triple Crown? Alright maybe I’m getting ahead of myself but expect big numbers.


It seems everything will come down to the pitching of the Sox. While Lester and Buchholz both emerged as first class pitchers, the drop off of Beckett and Lackey caused a lot of concern. It seems Lackey realized how much harder it is to pitch in the AL East than the AL West. He seemed to calm down and utilize his fastball much better later in the season so expect him to perform much better. Beckett comes off the most disappointing season for him in a Red Sox uniform. A positive for Sox fans is after Beckett’s very lackluster first season, he entered the 2006 offseason with a point to prove. He worked harder than ever in the offseason and came back ready to pitch in 2007. Many people are saying Beckett had that same work ethic in this offseason so a rebound year may not be out of the question.

It's obvious the AL East is the most competitive of baseball divisions and the additions to the Red Sox will only add to that. The Yankees are still the Yankees and will continue to win games. The Rays, despite losing Crawford, Pena, Garza, Soriano and Bartlett have the young talent combined with the additions of Johnny Damon and Manny Ramirez to continue to win. The Blue Jays are getting stronger. The Orioles, after a 66-96 season, added Vladimir Guerrero, Mark Reynolds, Derrek Lee, Justin Duchscherer and Kevin Gregg. I wouldn't be surprised to see this division win more games than it did in 2010.

Boob Grabbing at Phillies Game

I don't know how many times I can say this but - the actions of Phillies fans never shock me. This one isn't so bad as it is hilarious that is was a Phillies fan doing this on camera. It's like, c'mon bro, you know your reputation is already in the shitter and you have to go out and fulfill the stereotype?? We've already heard enough about you guys getting tasered, vomiting on little girls and giving beer to children this summer that we don't need anymore ammo to make fun of you but you continue to supply us. And for that, I am grateful. Here's to hoping they go on a 10 game losing streak and don't make the playoffs!!

[via = deadspin]

The girl in the video was really disappointing. If you're going to get your boob grabbed by a drunk idiot on T.V. you might as well act slutty and stop pretending like you have any self respect anyways. I propose that all Phillies fans - wait let me rephrase that - all hot female Phillies fans - dress like this...

The Daily Grind - With Your Host: Carlos Bloganegra

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum, ladies and gents. I've made over two thousand dollars off of the novelty website centsports.com - where you try and turn 10 cents into big money. I'm here to show you some tricks of the trade aka give you my picks and let you take the glory. Every single day. Billy Blog's picks just weren't cutting it so he asked me to take the reins. I am the swami. The wizard. The chosen one. The alpha and the omega. I am...Carlos Bloganegra. The format for picks will be fine-tuned over the next few days and will most likely feature an additional column on the side of the blog as well as short analysis for each pick. Here are the picks for day 1:

Phillies (moneyline) vs. Nationals - 7:05 PM (MLB) - Oswalt's first start and the Nats suck. Simple.

Tigers vs. Red Sox (moneyline) 7:10 PM (MLB) - I'm just going to stack the record with easiness.

Orioles (+1.5) vs. Kansas City Royals 8:10 PM (MLB) -Yo ho OOOOOOOOO's

Pirates vs. Cardinals (-1.5) 8:15 PM (MLB) - Chris Carpenter vs. a team with a 36-65 record. Just sayin'.

A couple things to note here is that I'm obviously picking very easy games, and only took the moneyline to improve my record early on. I'm trying to sneak this by you. Also, you'll quickly find that I'm both better at picking baseball games and sexier than Billy Blog Thornton.

<3

Roy Oswalt Traded to Phillies and Other Deadline News

Roy Oswalt has officially accepted a trade to the Philadelphia Phillies. The Phillies are sending the Astros pitcher J.A. Happ and 2 prospects, OF Anthony Gose and SS Jonathan Villar. The Astros will pay $11 million of the $23 million Oswalt is owed through the 2011 season. The Phillies would have been better keeping Cliff Lee for an entire season rather than acquiring Oswalt for half a season. Even after winning 7 straight they are still 3 games back of the Braves in the NL East - god I hope they don't make the playoffs after making this deal. Immediately after the trade was finalized the Astros sent Anthony Gose to the Blue Jays for Brett Wallace. Toronto acquired Michael Taylor in the Roy Halladay deal with the Phillies and immediately traded him to the Athletics for Brett Wallace. Confused yet?

In terms of fantasy value, Oswalt should stay where he's currently ranked. The move to Citizens Bank will hurt his ERA a little but playing on a much better offensive team should get him more wins. Think a 3.50 ERA and 6-8 wins the rest of the way. The fantasy value for J.A. Happ remains useless.

In other MLB trade deadline news...

The Orioles traded Miguel Tejada to the Padres for Wynn Pelzer (Dan Hayes Twitter)

The Rays are the favorites to acquire Adam Dunn (Twitter)

The White Sox, Nationals and Diamondbacks are talking 3-way trades (Jon Heyman)

The Marlins traded Jorge Cantu to the Rangers (Joel Sherman)

The Orioles hired Buck Showalter as manager (Ken Rosenthal)

The White Sox are considering Lance Berkman if they don't get Adam Dunn (Buster Olney)

In the "hilarious story of the day"...

Mike Lowell hit 3 HRs Tuesday night on a rehab assignment in Pawtucket. David Ortiz was asked on Wednesday if he saw what Lowell did the night before. He replied...

“Mikey Lowell is bombing some fuckers down there, right? That’s what he’d do here, too. Bomb fuckers. We all know that. That’s what we do for a living -- bomb fuckers."

Source