NHL Referee Appears Out of Nowhere

Every so often a video gets posted on the intertubes that takes it by storm. This is one of those videos. The video is from a 2009 NHL playoffs game but didn't get posted until yesterday. It already has over 60,000 views. Shit is hotter than Hansel. The video is from a game between the Chicago Blackhawks and Detroit Red Wings and a referee just appears out of nowhere. Watch this 50 times and try to tell me where this ref comes from.

I think I'm on my 473rd viewing of this video and I still have no fucking clue where the ref came from. Some of my theories:

1. He used a Super Mario warp pipe
2. DeLorean
3. Used some Harry Potter "Floo Powder"
4. Hot Tub Time Machine
5. It's the pleats. It's actually an optical illusion. It's the pattern on the pants.

Commercial Tribute To Soon-To-Be-Fired Washington Capitals Coach Bruce Boudreau

The top-seed Washington Capitals were just swept in the second round of the NHL playoffs by the fifth seed Tampa Bay Lightning. Bruce Boudreau became the head coach of the Capitals on November 22, 2007. Since then he has led the team to a 189-79-39 regular season record, with seasons of 94, 108, 121 and 107 points. In those four post-seasons the Capitals have lost in the first, second, first and now again second round. Regular seasons results are nice but it's all about the playoffs. There was talk Bruce Boudreau might be fired after last season's meltdown (they were the 1 seed, up 3-1 against the 8 seed Canadiens in the first round and lost) but he wasn't. Now, after this latest playoff failure, Bruce Boudreau's tenure as head coach of the Washington Capitals will finally come to an end. In honor of Bruce being fired in the near future, here is a video tribute of his best commercials that he did while with the Washington Capitals. First, let me say this: Bruce Boudreau completely wasted his opportunity in Wasington D.C. and these commercials just further prove what a bumbling idiot that he is. "Fortunately we're passionate about just one thing"? Yeah, I get it Mercedes-Benz of Alexandria, Bruce Boudreau is embarrassing.

And now I will leave you with this - Bruce Boudreau, in "Slapshot", wearing #7 in green.

Matt Cooke Suspended 10 Games Plus 1st Round of Playoffs

Matt Cooke is a huge doucher. We all know that. It shouldn't surprised us when he does something like this but time and time again I'm surprised that he continues to do it. Yesterday he gave a vicious elbow to the head of New York Rangers Ryan McDonagh that was completely uncalled for yet completely Matt Cooke-esque.

Today the NHL handed Pittsburgh Penguins forward Matt Cooke a 10 game suspension, which is the rest of the regular season, plus the Penguins 1st round playoff series. That means this is a minimum of 14 games and could be a maximum suspension of 17 games. Hopefully the Penguins get eliminated in the 1st round and we don't have to see him back this year. Also, hopefully someone just breaks his legs so severely we never have to see him again. Here's the elbow from yesterday followed by a bunch of other dirty Matt Cooke plays.

Hilary Duff to Get Married This Weekend

Yes that's right Hilary Duff is still relevant in this world. But really only cause she's hot now. I made this post as an excuse to show how hot Lizzie McGuire got now. Plus she's marrying a hockey player and that's always awesome.



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Mite Hockey Fight Broken Up by Mom

Hockey fights happen all the time, but not hockey fights between Mites. These little guys are teammates and get into a fight during what looks like practice. One pushes down the other and he immediately gets back up, skates toward the other kid, slashes him, throws down his stick and gloves like he's in the NHL and wants to go. Too bad his mom is a pussy and starts calling his name when something good was about to happen. Where the hell did the kid learn to thrown down his stick and gloves like that? He's either been watching too much Happy Gilmore or Mighty Ducks. We know he hasn't been watching Cindy Crosby. Can you imagine if this happened during the intermission of an NHL game when Mites scrimmage for a few minutes? Drunk dudes cheering on 6-year-olds to beat the crap out of each other - it would be like cockfighting with children.

A word to the wise, next time you are arguing over whether the McDonalds Happy Meal or Burger King Happy Meal is better, rip off each others helmets. You will get nowhere in the fight with helmets on. At least they will be prepared for when they reach the "locker boxing" age.

Henrik Zetterberg Gets Married in Jail Attire

Detroit Red Wings forward Henrik Zetterberg got married last week to Swedish TV personality Emma Anderson. That's probably about the only normal event that occurred. Zetterberg and Anderson made their guests dress up in these ridiculous outfits that looked like a combination of something Michael Cera and Perez Hilton would wear. If someone tried to tell me Alcatraz had a gay brother island and they were all locked on it, I would buy it. Some of Zetterberg's teammates, including Johan Franzen, Nicklas Lindstrom and Pavel Datsyuk, attended which will do wonders for their trash talking abilities next season.


Ahhhh yes, just the way to make these outfits more macho - cover them up with a matching bathrobe/slipper set. Or wear that hat. Either works. I can think of nothing more manly than a bunch of hockey players dressing up in striped tank-top onesies and posing for pictures together. Bananas in Pajamas called...they want their outfits back.

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Ilya Kovalchuk Signs 17-year Deal with New Jersey Devils

No, that is not a misprint. Top free agent, forward Ilya Kovalchuk, signed a 17-year deal with the New Jersey Devils today. The deal is reported at just over $100 million. He had offers from the Los Angeles Kings and New York Islanders but decided to stay with the Devils. The Thrashers traded Kovalchuk to the Devils in early February after he rejected a 12-year $101 million contract extension. Ridiculously long contracts are becoming standard in the NHL these days as teams try to stay under the cap. Most of the deals are front-loaded so the teams pay stars lots of money while keeping the salary cap hit to a minimum. Kovalchuk recently turned 27 and will be 44 when the contract ends (if he even plays until then).

Kovalchuk joins Alex Ovechkin, Roberto Luongo, Rick DiPietro, Marian Hossa, Duncan Keith and Henrik Zetterberg as other players signed through at least the 2020-2021 season. Giving long contracts is basically a way for NHL teams to cheat the salary cap. Looking at the 12-year deal the Blackhawks gave to Marian Hossa is a perfect example. They gave him $62.8 million over 12 years, an average salary of $5.233 million per year. The Blackhawks are paying him $7.9 million per year for the first 7 years but he will only count $5.233 million against the salary cap (because the CBA states that the cap hit will be the average annual salary). In the final 5 years (when he is 37-years old+) he will be making $4 million, $1 million, $1 million, $750,000, $750,000 respectively. If he plays those years he would count $5.233 against the cap even though he is making much less but the Blackhawks are banking on the fact that he won't play into or past his late 30s. It's a great risk for the Blackhawks considering NHL players usually don't play into their late 30s and rarely go into their 40s.

UPDATE: The year-by-year payments have been released. Kovalchuk will count $6 million against the cap each year even when he will be making $11.5 million from 2012-2017.

2010-11: $6 million
2011-12: $6 million
2012-13: $11.5 million
2013-14: $11.5 million
2014-15: $11.5 million
2015-16: $11.5 million
2016-17: $11.5 million
2017-18: $10.5 million
2018-19: $8.5 million
2019-20: $6.5 million
2020-21: $3.5 Million
2021-22: $750,000
2022-23: $550,000
2023-24: $550,000
2024-25: $550,000
2025-26: $550,000
2026-27: $550,000

So it looks like Kovalchuk will be retiring around 2020.

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Blackhawks are Stanley Cup Champions

The best trophy in all of sports was awarded tonight and for the first time since 1961 the Chicago Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup. They took the NHL's 3rd best record into the playoffs and beat Nashville, Vancouver, San Jose and finally Philly to take home the cup. The Blackhawks rallied after a late game-tying goal by the Flyers to win the Stanley Cup in OT.

21 year old Patrick Kane did what every single young kid dreams of - score the Stanley Cup winning goal in overtime. It was a very anti-climactic finish because no one besides Kane knew the puck went in and the goal light didn't even go off. The puck slipped through Leighton's pads and into the far side of the net, getting lodged under the goal padding. Replay confirmed the goal and the celebration was on for Blackhawks fans.


Chicago captain, 22 year old Jonathan Toews, won the Conn Smythe Trophy - awarded to the best player during the playoffs and he continued the legendary tradition of being the first person to receive the cup as team captain. The Blackhawks finished off the Flyers in 6 games, winning the cup on Philadelphia's home ice. The Philly fans were their typical disrespectful selves as they booed throughout most of the post-game presentations. You don't boo the Stanley Cup presentation. You just don't. It's like letting your 4 year old kid drink beer at a baseball game. You don't do it...oh wait, Philly already did that too.


Enough of the Philly ranting - did anyone happen to see Jeremy Roenick cry after the game when he was talking about the Blackhawks winning the cup? He did play 8 seasons in Chicago without winning the cup but is that a reason to cry on national television as the broadcaster of the game? Video of the water works is below.

Canadian Women Hockey Players Know How to Party

Despite the fact that I despise all things Canada, I must admit their woman's hockey team knows how to party after a big win. They beat the US women Thursday 2-0 to win the gold medal and immediately brought beer, champagne, and cigars onto the ice to celebrate. This sounds like my type of woman. How bad ass is that - smoking cigars and drinking alcohol on the ice in front of thousands of people right after you won gold at the Olympics. Oh ya, some of the players are under the legal age of drinking in Vancouver (19). I guess that's why the IOC is getting all worked up. They (the IOC) have already said they will be looking into the matter and I'm sure nothing good will come of it but I say who cares - let them celebrate. Baseball teams routinely pop open bottles of champagne on the field after playoff series wins. I guess the only difference here are the few underage players, but who didn't drink when they were 18? It should be noted that Marie-Philip Poulin, who scored both of Canada's goals, is from Quebec where the drinking age is 18. Although female sports are like playing male sports underwater, I might just have to watch the next Canadian woman's hockey game to see if they turn it into a frat party after. I must note that I am not condoning underage drinking.


(photo from ESPN, Alex Livesey/Getty Images)

The full story can be found here - http://sports.espn.go.com/olympics/winter/2010/icehockey/news/story?id=4947716